Just the Highlights, M'am!

Dear Gilly,

I haven’t written here since you were 14 months old. FOURTEEN MONTHS! Today you turn 26 months old, so I figured it was high time for a new post. Since I have been SUCH a bad blogger, let’s just hit the highlights, shall we?

15 Months

You got your first haircut (pictured below) and you moved into a big girl bed. That’s a very early transition but you cracked the code on climbing out of your crib by hoisting your little leg up over the side, and it made us nervous. I slept on the floor next to you the first night because I thought you would fall out!

17 Months

You became a Jersey girl! After years as city folk, Mommy and Daddy found a town that instantly felt like home and we bought a house for you to grow up in. It isn’t big or fancy but it has character and feels like “us.” We are fixing it up little by little and doing most things ourselves (with assistance from Papa Jim!).

18 Months

We celebrated the Fourth of July in our new area by taking you to your very first fireworks display. We had a picnic on the grass while a band played, then you sat on daddy’s shoulders to watch the sky light up in colors. You were mesmerized, though in this photo you look way bored. :)

21 Months

We went to the Medieval Festival in Fort Tryon Park, where my very favorite picture of you was taken. It got chilly by the water so we pulled the hood up on your poncho and Phil snapped a photo. I love that it’s candid and un-posed, but I also love that it captures who you are. You are nobody’s princess! Sure, you love your dolls and the color pink and you have a girly side, but this picture depicts your strength and your cleverness, and I love that. How can someone get all that from one photo? Trust me…mommies can!

22 Months

You dressed as a chicken for Halloween! Mommy took you to your parade and party at school, and Daddy took you trick or treating after work. You were definitely a hit with the neighbors and were very good about keeping your chicken suit on.

24 Months

You had two Elmo parties for your 2^nd birthday: one at school and one at home. For your home party Aunt Lisa made awesome Elmo cupcakes, and Uncle Joe performed his hit song “Pizza Party.” You got really cool presents and had a ball running around with your friends. Your friend Simona's dad took this lovely picture of you.

26 Months…Also Known as Now

You are moving up to the next class level at school a bit earlier than expected and will soon be starting a Kumon curriculum. Go you! This Saturday your swim class begins at the Y, and we suspect you will live up to your "Gilly" nickname since you love the water so much. Many more adventures await us, my love!

Lately (14 Months)

Lately…

Gilly has turned into a sweet little chatterbox, with her vocabulary doubling in the past couple weeks. Her favorite words/phrases are “Mama” (yay!), “Baby” (pronounced “Bay – Beeeee!!!”) and “Me Me Me” (when she wants something). She shouts “Whoa!” when her tower of blocks falls down, “Whee!” when she’s on a swing or ride-on toy, “Pretty” when she spots cute clothes and “Nah nah nah” (translation: “no”) when we try to pull her away from danger.

Lately…
I said goodbye to my last remaining grandparent—my mother’s mother— a strong, salty lady with a two-pack-a-day habit, a flair for storytelling, a legendary sharp tongue and a true blue heart. Gilly was in my arms as Nan took her last breath, which is pretty big stuff for such a little thing. I’m glad these two were able to meet, if only for a short time. It’s good to know that Gilly has someone so loyal looking over her.

Lately…
Gilly is becoming even more of a daredevil, standing on top of end tables, coffee tables, TV stands…basically any dangerous piece of furniture you can think of. Despite diligent baby proofing, we are constantly amazed by how she finds new ways to make our hearts skip a beat with her acrobatic ways. She’s also begun to show a flair for music and loves to sing and dance along with The Fresh Beat Band. Call me crazy, but I swear she repeats notes with surprisingly accurate pitch!

Lately…
Jar ushered in his 40th birthday with friends, family…and karaoke! I surprised him with a poster (signed by all the guests) outlining 40 cool things he’s done in his life thus far, along with pics to match. We realized that night that we’d met *exactly* 10 years before, doing karaoke. How apropos!

Lately…
We’ve started the very exciting yet very stressful process of looking for a house in the burbs, because isn’t that what all urban professional couples do when they have a baby? ;-) Truth be told, I’ve been ready for more green space and a slower pace for the past few years, even before getting pregnant. And Jar is ready to put his handiness—and newfound driving skills—to use. Wish us luck. Change is scary but exhilarating!

Favorite Things

Oprah has a list of favorite things, so why not Gilly? Here’s what Little Miss Thang is currently digging, circa her 13-month birthday:

1. Ride-on toys. Today at Toys R Us she took the above set of wheels for a test drive, and she seemed pretty smitten. At home, she has a pink ride on-bus and a blue mini ride-on car, both of which she loves to share with her friend TZ. Which brings us to #2!


2. Her friend TZ. If it’s possible for a 1-year-old to have a BFF, little blonde-haired, blue-eyed TZ would be it! These two are together 5 days a week ALL DAY since they share a nanny, so it’s a good thing they get along. Born just 4 days apart, Gilly tends to be more physically adventurous and TZ tends to be more verbal, so they complement each other’s skills perfectly. Plus, they squeal when they see each other in the morning, which is pretty freaking adorable.


3. My winter scarf. She likes to wrap it loosely around her neck and twirl around the living room, like some sort of miniature Stevie Nicks. I wish she’d learn “Silver Springs!”


4. Independent eating. If I try to take her toddler fork away, I’m met with a death grip. Enough said.


5. Cell phones. Every time I make a call, there goes that cute little outstretched arm, trying to grab my phone away. And when she doesn’t get it? Whine central. We’ve tried to distract her with a toy phone, but the kid is totally on to us.


6. Books, books and more books. Gilly loves all types of books, but especially ones with fuzzy textures, pull tabs, sounds, or anything interactive. In fact, she’ll often ignore a room full of toys just to thumb through her book collection. She’s now starting to carry books over to me when she wants me to read them, which warms my bookworm heart.


7. Dancing. I’m not sure what the deal is, but at least 75 percent of Gilly’s toys play some sort of musical tune. Not that I’m complaining (ahem), but the upside is that I get to watch her cute little booty bop to the beat. She also likes to groove out to Yo Gabba Gabba, which has to be my least favorite Nick Jr. show, mostly because it’s creepy.


8. Her “G” chair. We sprung for one of those child-size club chairs from Pottery Barn Kids for Gilly’s 1st birthday, complete with embroidered name and cover that matches her nursery décor. While she uses it equally for climbing and sitting, it was definitely a good get and GREAT for watching Nick Jr. with a fuzzy blanket (but preferably not Yo Gabba Gabba. See above.)


9. Mommy. It’s official. This former daddy’s girl is all about mommy these days, literally running to me with open arms and big wide eyes when I walk through the door after work. I walk to the kitchen? Gilly’s there. The bathroom? Right behind me. She still won’t call me mama, though!


10. Saying “pee pee.” It started innocently enough, when we were changing her diaper. “Did you do pee pee?” we asked. Intense stare and furrowed brow. “Pee peeeee,” she says. “Pee pee, pee pee, pee pee.” We laughed, of course, which just encouraged her more. And now it’s her favorite word. Parent of the Year award? Oh yeah, right over here please.

One Year Ago Today

Dear Gilly,
One year ago today, in a hospital in Manhattan, at 10:18 a.m.,
on what had to be the coldest day of the year (though I’m too lazy to look it up),
you were born.
It was the best day of my life.
Mostly because for many years, I thought I couldn’t have you
but there you were
half daddy, half me,
but 100 percent your own.
I suddenly felt this incredible responsibility to somehow do you justice.
We brought you home on New Year’s Eve in a snowstorm,
feeding you as the ball dropped hazily in the background.
And all throughout the year
there were really high highs (smiles, crawls, steps, words)
And really low lows (nursing woes, mood swings and have I mentioned the baby weight?)
Moments that made me beam (“Does she EVER get fussy?”)
Moments that confused me (Did we pick the right doctor? The right daycare? Are vaccinations evil?)
Moments when I had to admit that perfection was not an option (jarred baby food is ALMOST as good as homemade, RIGHT?)
And moments when I once again realized that your dad really rocks (“Sleep, honey…I’ll get her”)

There were times that made me feel like a baby myself (“but I don’t WANT to go back to work yet”)
And times when I realized that it’s OK to be who *I* was born to be (“Wait, I kinda LIKE being back at work”).
We saw you go from a little swaddled burrito
to a bye-bye-waving, “uh oh” saying, cabinet opening, dancing-and-singing, almost running walker.
I think it’s pretty fitting, Gilly,
that you were born at the end of one year and the dawn of another.
A time that makes everyone reflect on how they can be a better person
because you’ve certainly done that to me.
Happy first birthday to my little girl
(Cake is on its way.)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

A lot’s been going on since my last post, and most of it pretty stressful. Gilly’s daycare center decided to suddenly—and unceremoniously—close its doors for good due to “the economy,” giving parents only two week’s notice to find new arrangements. This would be bad enough on its own, but dealing with it in the middle of a shopping, wrapping, baking, card-sending and party-attending holiday frenzy? Let’s just say I’m in need of some vino.

After calling pretty much every daycare center in Queens, I quickly realized that not very many accept babies under two for liability reasons. And the ones that do are booked solid and can offer a spot on a waiting list at best. Oh, and daycares in Manhattan near our offices? $2,200 a month MINIMUM, which is a bit hard to swallow. So it looks we’ll be doing a nanny share for the rest of the school year, and enrolling Gilly in an AWESOME school in the summer that’s willing to accept her into their 2-year-old program at just 18 months. She’ll have to get used to hanging out with older kids anyway, as she was born just two days shy of the December 31st kindergarten cut-off date, meaning she’ll start kindergarten at age 4 and always be one of the youngest in her class.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. This new school is sort of quirky and artsy and looks like it comes right out of a storybook. It’s a little bit further out of the way for us, but it oozes good vibes and history. The kids look genuinely happy to be there, the teachers are friendly, and everyone seems to care about kids and families. Oh, and did I mention that the toddlers were singing “Jingle Bell Rock” while wearing dangerously adorable sweater vests as part of their holiday party? It was almost too much to take, really. So that’s the plan. For now.

In milestone news, Gilly has gone from tentatively walking to outright running! She’s super active and always on-the-go, constantly looking for a drawer to open, a door to slam, a paper to rip, a toy to grab or a Cheerio to throw on the floor while saying “Uh-ohhh” in a singsong voice. She’s super curious about everything and doesn’t want to miss a trick. Lately, she likes to stick by my side whenever I’m cooking, which sort of makes my day, to be quite honest. Her bye-bye wave is both outrageously cute and totally oddball…reminiscent of a British matriarch.

I’ve tried to transition Gilly from formula to milk, but she downright refuses—at least for now. While incredibly good natured, she certainly makes it quite clear when she doesn’t want something. Like, um, forcefully pushing it out of her face and staring you down like you’re WHACK. She loves Olivia on Nick Jr., and even mimics the theme song in a baby babble sort of way. She also seems entranced by The Backyardigans (especially the musical numbers) as well as The Wonder Pets…or maybe that’s just my husband. He’s become a TOTAL Nick Jr. convert. I can't tell you how many times I've been subjected to this little ditty.

Other than that we’re just gearing up for Gilly’s first Christmas and—of course—her first birthday! Which is a whole 'nother post unto itself, people.

Happy Holidays to all!

Dream a Little Dream

As corny as it sounds, nothing is more inspiring to me than seeing someone make their dreams come true. The trouble is, most of us get sidetracked and discouraged by everyday challenges, whether they be financial, health-related, or simply of our own making (i.e., “I’m not good enough to be successful at X,Y,Z, therefore I’m not even going to try”). We all know someone who’s exceedingly—almost maddeningly—gifted, but chooses not to do anything with their talents. Others have a vague idea that they want to do something “creative,” but no clue how to actually make it happen in a tangible, saleable way.

I’ve been thinking a lot about life purpose since Gilly’s birth, and even more so as her first birthday approaches and I reflect back on her arrival. From the first second I held her, I saw her not as a fragile being, but as a fearless one with her own unique calling. I realized in that moment that I would do anything I could to help her achieve what she was put on this earth to do, nurturing and supporting her without ever pushing her.

Interestingly, my “provider” instincts were ignited, setting off a surge of ambition unlike anything I expected to feel as a new mom. Suddenly I was filled with an intense responsibility to create a comfortable life for Gilly, even if it meant more time at the office than I would have liked with a new baby at home. I suppose this “provider” mindset is a typically male one, but it didn’t happen to my husband. It happened to me. Subconsciously I wanted to establish optimal conditions in which to cultivate Gilly’s purpose, enabling her to explore hobbies of interest, see sights, take classes, etc.

Another “new mom” development? A pressing desire to help others figure out and achieve their own purposes, which has always been a passion of mine, but not quite to this degree. I suddenly found myself encouraging friends to pursue their creative work, helping people land jobs, or wanting to mentor junior colleagues at my office. These acts are all maternally-related for sure, but they feel like more than that. They feel like part of my own calling. Being a mom has given me a new layer understanding about myself, about my marriage and about the world—another gift that Gilly has bestowed upon us without even knowing it.

I recently read this quote in Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star, and it’s too good not to share:

“Babies show up knowing the truth: Each of them is an utterly lovable, beautiful creature, with a unique mission in life and all the equipment necessary to fulfill that mission.”

I think we would all do well to go back to the pure place of innately “knowing” that we can and will fulfill our dreams and live our truth. It’s just a matter of believing it.


(Above photo taken in Union Square Park when Gilly was 8 months.)

Come to Mama!

Jar usually picks up Gilly from daycare, but last Tuesday he had an after-work event, so it was my turn to do the honors. Daycare closes at 6, which means I need to leave the office at 5 in order to comfortably make it there on time—and in magazine publishing, this is no easy feat. Then the subway kept slowing down between every stop, and by the time I got to our neighborhood I knew I was going to have to sprint—in patent leather heels no less—in order to avoid paying the dreaded late charge and keep the hard-working teachers from hating me. It was a total cliché “working mom” moment: Me checking my watch every few paces as I frantically darted around fellow pedestrians, cell phone and leather bag in hand.

When I finally got there, breathless and schvitzing, Miss R informed me that Gilly was such a good girl as always, and that she wished all babies could be like her! Music to my ears! But then she said “And she’s doing so great with her steps!” I started to get nervous that she was going to tell me that Gilly was “officially” walking, and that I totally missed it. I said, “Yeah, she’s taking steps here and there,” to which she replied, “That’s right. I think she’ll be walking within a week.” Phew. Sigh of relief that I didn’t miss the big event. She could have just been saying that to make me feel better, but she was pretty believable.

Anyway, I brought Gilly home, fed her dinner, gave her a bath, put her monkey PJs on, and got down on the floor with her to play. I went in to the kitchen to put something in the sink and when I came back, she started walking towards me! I quickly grabbed my camera and captured the milestone while staying as calm as possible so that she wouldn’t get scared and stop, using my cell phone to bait her. I was so proud of her and I KNEW—while it was happening—that it was one of those moments that would stay inked in my mind forever, like when I saw Jar standing at the altar on our wedding day, or when I saw Gilly’s beautiful hands for the first time.

Part of me was sad that Jar wasn’t home to witness it, but another part of me was admittedly a little glad that it was just us two—Mommy and Gilly—because it reminded me of when I carried her inside me. My working mom guilt was assuaged for a moment as I saw those chunky little feet make their way across the floor, a look of elated determination on her face. It turns out Jar didn’t mind that he missed it anyway, thanks to the video documentation and plenty of other opportunities to see her walk. While I would have been jealous if the situation were reversed, he simply said, “I’m so glad you got to see it, hon,” with a huge smile on his face...proving once again that I'm far more of a tool than him. :-)

Oh, and just for posterity's sake, the above event took place on Tuesday, October 26—three days before Gilly's 10-month birthday. And also for posterity's sake? She's a 4 and a 1/2 wide width in walking shoes according to the measurement taken below, meaning that she "follows in the footsteps" of my wide-footed family. An honorable legacy, indeed.